Friends with benefits used to be a fairly touchy topic to explore. Nobody really wanted to admit that they were just in it for the sex and some good times. This was during a time when committing was much easier so not wanting to commit was a bit strange.
Flashforward to today when people are far too busy to juggle a full time relationship and want to have somebody they can spend quality time with and also enjoy some intimacy. All that without needing to commit to something that one or both don’t have the time for.
The thing is, people are still people and feelings do arise unexpectedly. Which complicates dating and a friends with benefits situation.
Not to say there is a trick to doing this, but there are some things to keep in mind when you want to try a friends with benefits type of relationship.
Be on the same page
This is the trickiest part of trying to have a friend with benefits. Sometimes it is a one sided affair with a partner not getting what they need because they didn’t understand the dynamic.
You have to be upfront and honest about what you are looking for. It is a good idea to try to meet somebody that is looking for the same thing rather than cultivate a relationship that already exists into a friend with benefits situation.
Try using an adult dating site like this site in which it is clear why you are both there and are looking for the same thing. You’ll find a potential partner that is also non committal for various reasons and still wants to have a good time and explore their sexuality.
Mismatched expectations are less likely to happen when you find a partner who is also looking for the same thing. Now, feelings can always develop later on, but at least in the beginning you are on the same page.
Remember the “friends” part
The FWB situation can’t be just about the sex. There should be mutual respect between you and a genuine need to spend some quality time together and to be there for each other as friends.
This might sound like a partner, but there are no ties in which you are obligated to be monogamous. You don’t have to invite them to a wedding or introduce them to your parents. Or, even to your other friends.
But, you should enjoy their company and know what makes them tick. A friends with benefits deal doesn’t mean that there is no affection required. It just means that you aren’t just a booty call.
In addition to being friends, you also have to respect the other person in the relationship. It doesn’t feel good being used to satisfy an urge so take the time to find the right situation even if it means putting the idea on hold until you do.
It’s a tricky thing to get involved in, but it can be as fulfilling as any of your other relationships just with another dynamic.