Hard Talk: How to Deal with Erectile Dysfunction in a Relationship

Sex, communication, honesty, and respect. Four very important components of any healthy relationship.

When one breaks down, the others suffer. 

Problems in the bedroom can stem from any number of things from low self-esteem or stress to simply being too tired.

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is another common problem among men – and not one they care to discuss openly.

But if you don’t communicate about the issue, you can’t fix it. This is why knowing how to deal with erectile dysfunction in a relationship is so important.

It’s time to put your pride aside and get to the bottom of the issue. 

Keep reading to discover tips for handling this sensitive topic with your partner and helping them get back in the saddle again!

Tip for the Guys

Dealing with ED in a relationship affects both partners in different ways. The man is probably feeling insecure, embarrassed, and maybe even slightly defensive.

Here are some ways to handle erectile dysfunction in a relationship from the male perspective.

Be Honest About the Problem

There’s no sense in denying or lying about the issue. All too often men mask their ED as something else, telling their partner they’re “too tired” or “not in the mood.”

These excuses might cut it short-term, but you’re eventually going to need to face the truth – and the sooner you do, the better. If your relationship is strong your partner will react in a supportive and understanding way.

You’ll feel relieved once the truth is out. You can also start taking steps to address it, like scheduling a doctor’s appointment or investigating the root cause of the problem.

Find the Underlying Issue

The fastest way to cure erectile dysfunction is to figure out what’s causing it in the first place. 

Several external factors might be to blame including:

  • Stress/anxiety
  • Certain medications
  • Heart disease
  • Diabetes
  • Obesity
  • High blood pressure
  • High cholesterol
  • Metabolic syndrome

Sit down with your partner and make a list of all the possible causes of your ED. Then, contact a medical professional to help determine the exact cause and treatment options.

Remember, You’re Still a Man

For many men, their masculinity is directly related to their ability to perform in the bedroom. If ED is killing your sex life, you might be feeling like less of a man.

Don’t! Erectile dysfunction is a medical condition that affects men of all ages. While it’s less common in younger guys, it’s not unheard of

Remember, ED has nothing to do with your masculinity or ability to please your partner. Use it as a reason to experiment with new and different bedroom activities. 

Find out more about how masturbation might help the cause, too!

Relax and Be Patient

This is one of the best ways to handle ED in a relationship. Try to relax and be patient with yourself.

If you’re suffering from erectile dysfunction, the more uptight and stressed you get, the worse it will become.

The less focus you place on getting an erection, the better your chances are of relaxing enough to create blood flow.

Try a nice hot shower, romantic candles, or a massage to lighten the mood. Avoid alcohol which can actually have the opposite effect.

Tips for the Ladies

If erectile dysfunction has your guy down (literally), it’s your job to help lift their spirits. 

Remember, this is a sensitive subject for them and for most men, a direct blow to their masculinity. Here’s how you can help.

Don’t Criticize

This is the worst thing you can do if your partner is struggling with ED. They already feel bad about themselves, criticizing them for their short-comings is like pouring salt in the wound.

Not to mention, it’s just straight-up mean! 

Instead, help build them up by complimenting other areas of their body and what you like about it. Comment on their strong chest and arms, how you love the way they kiss, or how their smile turns you on.

The better your man starts feeling about himself, the more likely he is to get in the mood and get it up.

Find Other Ways to Enjoy Each Other’s Company

Sex isn’t the only thing that makes a fulfilling relationship. There are countless other ways for you and your partner to spend quality time together and have fun.

Take a day trip, get outside and get active, or tackle a new recipe in the kitchen. The more connected you and your partner become, the more intimate and meaningful sex will be.

You may even feel more attracted to your man once you get to know him on a deeper level. No sex means the opportunity to connect in different ways.

Focus less on sex and more on having fun outside of the bedroom.

Help Him Relax

It’s easy for others to tell a man with erectile dysfunction to, “Relax and let it happen.” This is where you come in!

Help your man relax and get in the mood. Offer a soothing massage using scented oils. Tickle and rub his erogenous zones to help get him going.

Take control and be assertive. A woman who knows what she wants is a big turnon for many men. 

The more desirable and relaxed he feels, the better his chances of getting and keeping an erection. This is especially true if the root issue is related to stress or anxiety. 

Learn How to Deal with Erectile Dysfunction in a Relationship Together

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how to deal with erectile dysfunction in a relationship. Every man is different and every couple’s dynamic is unique.

If your partner is struggling with ED they likely need your love, support, patience, and understanding. Do everything you can to build them up and reassure them that you still find them irresistible!

Check out more tips on love and relationships in our dating section!