After a few months or years, just depending on the individual, you might find that you have become “boring” in your relationships or marriage. It does not matter what kind of relationship you have, there are always key factors as to why the spark seems to dim over the years. As time goes on, we tend to forget to flirt, to play, to laugh, to date, to think out of our comfort zone and we sometimes stop being adventurous and have just simply, “given-up” on romance and excitement.
1. Plan date nights
Just because you have been in a relationship or marriage for a few years, does not mean that the dating ends. After years of being together, you and your partner need to work harder at the relationship due to all the surrounding elements that get in the way. Never give up on planning a date night and making the effort to give each other one on one time. You can plan the date together or you can decide that every month one of you gets to choose where to go and the other has no idea. It makes it special when it is well thought through, and when the activity is a ‘secret’ to the partner.
2. Play board games
There is so much fun in having an evening in, fire on, choice of great wine, candlelight, soft music in the background and a table set up with your favourite board game for two and some great snacks. You can get board games for two and it can be a night of love and laughter. If you can’t find the type of game that you suits you, why not get creative and build together your own “board” game with all the things that remind you of each other, how you met, the first song you heard, special “things” you said to each other, the first movie that you watched together, memories of events, family etc. Not only is it time that you are spending together but it also gets you remembering those earlier days and what made you fall in love with each other.
3. Go somewhere you’ve never been before
Plan together to go somewhere or do something that you have never done or been to before. This could just be for an ordinary day, or a special occasion such as an anniversary or Valentine’s Day. But remember you don’t have to do something on only special days, but it is nice to try something new on a special day. No matter the choice of either dining or an adventure, make sure that it is going to be exciting for both of you. When choosing, always keep your partner’s interest as well as your own in mind. Choosing to think of out the box and go somewhere or do something new will now give you new memories and hopefully a “new favourite” to put on your list.
4. Set goals together
To keep the spark, you and our partner need to set goals together on what you enjoy, what you agree to and where you see the relationship going, and the changes you can make to continue growing together. It’s important to know each other’s likes and dislikes to set achievable goals, as well as where each partner would like to see themselves in the next few years – whether personally or within the relationship. The goals you set could be about what the next step forward will be in the relationship, or it could be goals you want to achieve together socially or financially. It completely depends on what you want to focus on, and where your priorities lie as a couple. The aim of setting goals together should always be to improve your relationship and help one another to flourish, it should never be to hold your partner accountable to something, but rather to set benchmarks. Sometimes goals aren’t always reached, and that is okay. This exercise is about communicating and understanding where you and your partner are headed.
5. Improve your intimacy
Some couples find it difficult to keep the spark alive in the bedroom, especially those that have been together for decades. When life gets busy and chaotic, very often intimacy with your partner becomes less and less of a priority. This slowly but surely starts chipping away at the relationship, and often one partner can feel neglected by the other. If this feels awfully familiar, it’s important to note that you can change things around. Try new things like introducing adult toys in the bedroom if you have not before. It’s important to explore with your partner and find ways to keep things exciting.