First dates can be a nervy affair, especially if you’ve been out of the dating world for a while. The date is the ‘make-or-break’ moment in most cases – you either impress each other and organise a second date, or you end up not speaking to each other again. With the following tips, you can increase the date’s chances of being a memorable occasion – in a good way.
1. Pick a unique location
Dinner and a movie seem like a good choice, but it can be rather boring. Think outside of the box and opt for something more unique – a museum or gallery visit, tickets to a play or a sports event, or a cooking class.
2.Come with a surprise
You should start your date with a surprise. This can act as a great conversation starter and it shows a lot of thoughtfulness. If you know anything about the person you are going on a date with, pick something related to his or her interests. Perhaps she is a fan of baking and you could hand out a funky new baking tray! If he is a sports fanatic, surprise him with some sports socks or a scarf.
3. Focus on conversation
In terms of the venue and the things you do, focus on keeping conversation at the heart of the date. This means avoiding venues with loud music – step into a Costa Coffee instead – or spending the whole date at an event – skip the movies for ice-skating. Use the first date for creating a connection and determining if there’s nothing there.
4. Offer help
Stay attentive during the date and offer help when the situation calls for it. This means opening the door, helping with the coat or simply by helping with picking something to eat and drink. If you know about food, then show your expertise by giving tips on what to pick – just don’t judge or force your help.
5. Ask the right questions
Don’t ever just talk about yourself, but try to ask questions from your partner. Instead of rehearsing your questions or opting for the safe questions like “where did you study?’ Opt to talk about culture, generosity and interests. Scientific studies have found these topics and strategies to work best.
6. Don’t stop and stare
Eyecontact is important, but you can actually have too much of it. According to the Wall Street Journal, you shouldn’t stare for longer than 7 to 10 seconds at a time. Longer than that, and you might seem overly dominating and controlling.
7. Set your boundaries
Consider where you want to date to go beforehand to ensure you have a set of boundaries helping you during the night. Don’t kiss if you don’t want to and don’t invite them over if you feel it’s not a good idea. On the other hand, don’t think that first dates shouldn’t lead to a sleepover – if the connection is there, then you have every right to jump on it.
8. Dress confidently
Wearing your sexiest lingerie might not seem necessary for first dates, but it can help you feel more confident. If you feel something a little naughty underneath, you speak and act more sensually, which can create great tension between the two of you. Charge the energy fields with sexy outfits from Lovehoney and turn up the heat at your very first date.
9. Don’t argue over the bill
Paying the bill might be the most crucial part of a date. Some believe the man should pay for it and others think it should always be shared. There isn’t really a right or wrong answer here and you just need to deal with the situation as it comes. Don’t start an argument over paying the bill. Offer to pay your part, but don’t make a fuss over having to pay or not having to pay. You can continue arguing about money once the relationship develops further!
10. Have a Plan B
So, the date might not always start well. Perhaps the public transport is not working as intended or the venue is suddenly closed. If your plans are ruined, you might end up in an awkward situation. But have a Plan B at hand to save the moment. Look for nearby coffee shops or quirky restaurants – prepare something you can do even if things are not running smoothly.
With the above tips in mind, you can have a successful and memorable first date. Just remember to be yourself and relax. The key for first dates is to see if there’s anything there to work with or if you are both better off going after someone else.