What Your Beer Choice Says About You

Keystone Light

  1. Fifth year college student; hobbies include keg-stands, wearing hats backwards, and can’t wait to make it as a big shot CEO one day.
  2. Crusty vagrant sitting outside on the curb drinking a 12-pack at 10am.

Coors/Budweiser

Guys who call other beers “girly;” talents include smashing a can using their forehead and shooting vermin. Often they are Nascar enthusiasts, Pantera fans, or are likely to own an American flag bandanna. Also, Beer bellies.

Corona

Jacked and tan dudes and ladies who have bedazzled everything, these are always the first people to call for the first round of tequila shots.

Guinness

Faux beer snob will always complain that the bartender did not do a perfect three-part pour, loves talking about their Irish motherland, even though they’re from Ohio.

Heineken

Their freshly washed Infinity is parked outside, have a lot of product in their hair, love leather goods, but somehow no one really wants to talk to them. They’re not cool enough to hang out with the Corona guys.

PBR

  1. Hipsters, no explaination needed.
  2. Greasers, it’s an American classic man!
  3. Your friend’s alcoholic mother living in a trailer

Craft Beer

Likely consider themselves “nerds,” own an apple product of some sort or have a vehement hatred for it instead; tend to generalize people over their beer choices. Likely own respective glasses for different Trappist beers, shy away from boisterous crowded parties or clubs. Check 52 Brews’s guide on how to make hard cider.