The Worst Parts about Being Single (According to a Mid-20s Person)

  1. OkCupid. Online dating isn’t some recent development, but it sure has gotten popular in recent years, now almost every 20 or 30 something bachelor has been on it, or considered it at some point. What’s so bad about OkC you ask? Well if you didn’t already know, a lot of people seem to come out of the woodwork on these sorts of things: expect messages from looking4luv69, pussyplunderer, and iswearimnotcrazy666 to infiltrate your inbox. That’s not even the bad part; the worst thing is this whole “I can do better” attitude that everyone seems to get. Highly compatible people who go out on a few dates and feel a connection keep wanting  more compatibility. Really, you can’t settle with a 95% match? I’d be lying if I didn’t think that this site is causing rifts in people’s love lives due to this feeling of obtaining a person so specific they probably don’t exist. If you’re turning down great people who you actually like and for the prospect of finding someone who’s even greater, please get back to me in a few months.
  2. The ephemeral relationship. You don’t go on dates–you hang out; you aren’t “together” but you’d feel guilty going out with someone else. You’re not “breaking up” you’re just not texting each other anymore. This whole not-really-but-kind-of relationship is becoming the  norm now, and it seems like a total generation thing. Are we just terrified of commitment? Are we afraid of getting burned or doing the burning? Are we worried someone better could come along? Whatever the reasoning is, it’s really uncomfortable when it happens, and it ensures that your friends are going to be really annoyed by your constant anxiety over it.
  3. Being the third or fifth wheel. All your friends are taken; the other ones are off getting drunk and complaining about not being taken. Where do you side? Do you join the pity party, or go have a grand old time with your best friend–and their significant other. I’m sure they’re both fantastic, and you all get along great, but there’s just always that lingering feeling of awkwardness when they give each other “the look” or morph into a human straight jacket while you stand next to them.  What are you supposed to do? Join in? The only couples that are fun to go out with are ones that hate each other.
  4. Sometimes you lose sight of the good parts. You might go through days of listening to My Bloody Valentine, sulking that you have no one, and no one likes you. As much as these are wasteful, they’re usually a reminder that things come and go; tomorrow you might be wake up and realize that sleeping in the middle of the bed is great and you have money for fancy beers. HRAH HRAH HRAGH—until you get tossed back into bummer mode; the grass is always greener.
  5. Dealing with the singles rat race.  Chances are, if you like someone who seems really great, someone else probably does too or did too. If you find that special man or woman who really rocks your world, they’ve probably had a slew of pseudo-romances before you and are comparing you to their past gaggle of lovers. Like a job interview, sometimes these feelings cause unnecessary worries