My Experience in an Overly Aggressive Counter-Strike Game

Like many males growing up in the 90’s, I played Counter-Strike. A lot.

I was all too eager to relive my glory days countering global terrorism while drinking Dr. Pepper when I saw CS:GO on sale through the Steam Store. Childhood: revisited.

The Counter-Strike community is intense. This was true even during the classic era, although there were significantly less microphones involved back then. Now virtually anyone can tear you a new asshole in crystal clear quality, an experience dramatically different from single player games.

The last time I played Counter-Strike was when I was in 8th grade. I connected to the Internet through a horrid 56k wired modem jutting out the wall in my living room. N’SYNC had reached their peak in popularity and Lance Bass wasn’t even gay yet. It goes without saying my skills were rusty.

I connected to a random server and suddenly I’m 15 again.

We’re playing my favorite mission scenario. One team tries to plant and detonate a bomb, the other side tries to prevent it entirely. I am on the team trying to plant the bomb. We are going to fail spectacularly in this endeavor.

“All right. First 4 go mid-A. Everyone else, water to ramp.” This means nothing to me. As everyone begins charging out the gates I’m left deliberating which gun to purchase and not kill anybody with.

The majority of my team is dead. The ghost cam now  ensures my every movement is marked with immense scrutiny.

“Tyrannosaurus. What the hell are you doing?” A second later my character is riddled with bullets.

A discussion takes place regarding how “fucking stupid” I am. I don’t have a microphone to respond. And although I clearly have a keyboard to respond with, I have no idea how that works either.

A new round starts and I have the bomb. Anxiety sets in. How is any part of me getting stressed out over a video game?

Tyrannosaurus, listen to the calls goddammit … or I’ll rip your dick off. Everyone rush mid B. First four take stairs and walk through.”

I blow it immediately.

Toggle walk, Tyrannosaurus!

What key is that?

Jesus, you fucking idiot. Hang back. YOU HAVE THE BOMB, why are you running out?

I botch whatever call and I’m mowed down in a hail of bullets.

Following this, real life me is mowed down in a hail of anti-gay slurs. Someone is clamoring to have me banned from the server entirely. And just like that, my screen locks and I receive a notification that I’ve been kicked from the game.

I’m not oblivious as to how the Internet works. This isn’t the first occasion I’ve been flamed out over something totally trivial. I have a good enough sense of humor to actually enjoy the criticism as well. But the experience has me wondering, is there no room for the casual gamer? Why the hell can’t I just die in peace?

  • I always hated that game, the feeling you get as the last man standing knowing there’s a team of neckbeards watching your every move is terrible.

  • Nice article. I’d say to those interested, you should go watch youtube vids with “pros” playing. For example, Hatton Games. Then I’d suggest you go into a deathmatch or arms race to get the feel of the various guns. THEN I’d suggest you let the game find you a “casual competitive” match or 10. After all this, return to the “classic competitive” ring, and we’ll see how it goes. 😉

    P.S. I do realize that it wasn’t mentioned which “grouping” of matches was joined, but based on player callouts, it’s either competitive, or those that kicked you should move there.

  • Z3r0

    Yup your post reflects my experience almost exactly!

    I’m a long-time 1.6 player from the UK. In the old beta days, CS had a close-knit community, everyone knew everyone and it was pretty friendly, when 1.0 came along we had less of this and it seems, a lot more abuse and eventually cheating. On public servers I just tended to ignore the abuse and usually the person leaves as their rage engulfs them. The last few years i’ve been playing CS in Australia, the community is very small here, in some ways that has been a good thing, in some ways bad, we only have about 20 players left lol.

    I gave CS:GO a try as that had ~120 players online at the time and my first few games were terrible!

    The first game I played, as soon as I joined I was advised that I was a newb and should quit. I topped the scoreboard and then quit.

    The next game I played, it was a bomb map. Teams were 5v5. As a long time CS player I know that it’s normally etiquette (perhaps this is no longer valid) to join the defending team for balancing the numbers (where teams scores are balanced). Within a few seconds I was abused over voice comms quite nastily, being told that I was a team stacker joining the winning team (the CTs had just won 1 round and it was fairly even scoring). I didn’t have a mic hooked up so all I could do was type a response back, explaining that it was normal practice in CS.

    I was really upset because I can usually deal with written abuse by ignoring it but having someone swearing abuse over voice comms puts things on another level for me as it makes things far more personal. I also advised the person that perhaps they should get some manners and it seems my rant got me voted off but not the other person!

    I put the experience down to the person being a Battlefield game player where they may follow different rules.

    Another server I decided it would be cool to explore the lovely map and see what changes had been made, about 1 minute into the level I was voted off. I suppose I deserved it for not appearing to be doing the objective.

    My next experience involved 5v5 competitive / random player match. My team with my friends were losing, but we worked out how to play GO and came back and won. Whilst I was still celebrating a vote to shuffle the teams was called! I know that team stacking is a huge problem, but losing the ability to play with my mates infuriated me (perhaps there’s other game modes where they can’t shuffle teams.. I have no idea).

    I figured after all this that perhaps, i’m getting too old for CS.