Hey guys! Zander here. I’ve just gotten back from my VERY FIRST date with a girl and I have to say, it was pretty great! So great in fact that I’ve decided to let all my dawgs out there get an inside scoop into some of the best dating advice secrets I came up with after my first date.
Zander’s Dating Advice:
First things first: What are you gonna wear? For this I’d say do what makes you feel the most comfortable. I’m most comfortable in my grey striped sweater shirt from American Eagle. It’s gotta good fit and shows off my developing muscles. Match that with my Volcom shorts, a cool beanie, and maybe a necklace and you got yourself a pretty rad outfit. Don’t forget your shoes, though! I rocked my Vans black and white checkered slip-ons which my date said was a really “original” choice. I think we all know what that means ;->
Next, you gotta pick up your date! Sometimes your date will insist on getting a ride from her mom or dad, but you have to be a gentlemen and tell her your handlebar is a lot more fun to ride on. Who cares if it takes you an extra 20 minutes to get to the mall? You can use that time to get to know one another! One thing is for sure, make sure your ride is CLEAN. Guys, you know sometimes we can get a little dirty. Ladies don’t like that! Make sure you spend some extra time on your bike — even the wheels AND pegs!
Once you get to your restaurant of choice, make sure you open the door for her. Maybe add in a “right this way, m’lady,” for an extra romantic touch. Tell the host you’d like the best booth in the restaurant. He’ll probably roll his eyes and sit you at a normal booth, but who cares! It’ll impress your lady for sure.
Did you pull out your date’s chair for her?! No? Ouch, man. Make sure you ALWAYS pull her chair out. That’s just dating 101.
Now that you’re actually on the date, make sure you stay focused and engaging during the conversation. Ask her a bunch of questions like, “Isn’t Mr. Hinsley such a doofus?” or, “What kind of music do you like?” or, “Do you like dogs or cats?” Any of these questions will work as long as you keep her talking! Chicks love that.
Here comes the tricky part: the movie. First, obviously buy her ticket. That just goes without saying. Just make sure you ask your parents for a little extra dough before you leave the house. Anyway, once you get into the movie, HOLD HER HAND THE ENTIRE TIME. Yes, even during the previews. This will show her you mean business and that you’re into her. Even when your hands start to get all sweaty and clammy KEEP HOLDING ON. Some other tips for during the movie:
- Laugh extra loud at the funny parts so she knows you have a good sense of humor.
- If it gets emotional, cry so she sees you have a sensitive side.
- Repeat some of the lines back to her so she knows you’re listening.
- Never take your phone out and text — that’s just rude in general.
- Cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bag and stick your penis in it. When she goes in for some more popcorn, she’ll notice your penis and start to give you a hand job. Dad taught me that one.
Once the movie is over you can hop back on your two-wheeler and head home! If you think things are going well you can go in for a kiss! Finally, ride into the sunset a changed man.