When you finally stop brooding following the breakup, you’ll realize there’s few better opportunities for the world to slow down and really assess who you are as a person. Without getting too cynical, what qualities about yourself need to change? Chances are you don’t really know who you are without your ex, so now is the time to do some serious investigating. Regardless of how it all ended, you can count yourself more experienced going into the future. That added experience may not seem like much right now, but it’ll pay dividends when you see people falling into the same pratfalls you now know to avoid. You’re better equipped, take that with you while using the free time afforded to you to make yourself better than you’ve ever been.
2. Be your own life coach
Nearly every day we count ourselves as our own worst enemy. Go the opposite direction following a breakup. Don’t waste your energy fumbling over your shortcomings, use that same amount of focus to actually encourage yourself. It’s actually addictive. When you shelf the self-loathing long enough, you’ll experience how much more you’re capable of doing when you’re actually encouraging yourself positively. Don’t want to make changes in your life because you’re unhappy, make changes in your life because you want to be happy. For most people, getting in shape becomes a higher priority following a split. You’ll have an easier time achieving your loftier goals if you avoid starting within a negative frame of mind.
3. Allow your friends to kidnap you
New rule: Whatever your friends are doing, you’re doing it too. You might absolutely hate that bar downtown, but tonight it’s your primary destination. A good friend will actually want you around despite your sulking, and there’s few better distractions available to you right now. It’s also a great time to rediscover old friendships, people you might have lost touch with. Chances are your relationship made your accessibility to these friends convoluted at best. The big thing here is you’re not at home, listening to songs that remind you of your ex on an infinite loop. No, there’s time for that tomorrow. Allow yourself to have a completely open mind. It’s incredibly uncomfortable at first but you’ll actually find yourself being you again.
4. Don’t be a stalker
One of the hardest things for people to deal with is the ex who moves on first. Don’t be one of those people. If your ex is currently dating someone else it’s because they’re completely over you. Not one ounce of them is holding out for you to change your old habits so you can finally be reunited again. Almost like a subconscious denial of this fact, most people in this situation revert to stalking their ex online. Who is that they’re with all over their Facebook? Doesn’t matter. It’s not worth torturing yourself over. Containing your morbid curiosity is often easier said than done, this too may take some time. The cold realization your ex is not lamenting over your old photographs in turn will eventually be enough to write them off eventually.
5. If it’s broken, for the love of all that is holy, don’t try to fix it
There’s probably some undiscovered law of physics that dictates all couples who breakup will get back together at least once. It doesn’t honestly matter how bad the breakup was, suddenly all the callous things said between you are no match for the fear of having a new life away from that person. Most couples get back together because it’s the comfortable option. You’d be hard pressed to find a breakup considered the easy or comfortable option, you can assume any relationship so casual to walk away from was hardly based on love. When you break up, you break something — permanently. While some couples can overcome this, they’re definitely not the same couples breaking up every other week. Know when to walk away, a dysfunctional relationship only breeds disrespect and anger. If you’re the type of person that broadcasts your bipolar relationship to Facebook, you shouldn’t be allowed to have the Internet.
6. Take your ex off the pedestal
For whatever inexplicable reason, we have a natural tendency to fawn over the good memories we had with our ex immediately following the breakup. Face facts, this person made a calculated decision they were better off without you. Why bother being hung up on someone who knew you so intimately and came to this conclusion? Those good memories are yours to keep but right now they’re doing you a serious disservice. Instead of reflecting on the time your ex surprised you on your birthday, you should be more focused on the countless insane shouting matches that spawned seemingly out of nowhere. That shit was outrageous, wasn’t it?